The Reason Nothing Happens … Is Because Nothing Is Happening!
author:Edward B. Toupin
I hear many clients declare how boring and stagnant their lives have become. As they disclose their concerns, the answer usually bubbles near the surface, but never quite makes it to the top. However, after a few minutes, I usually ask, “What are you doing to re-energize your life?” The most common answer is, “I dunno what to do!” Ah, the answer to the problem in itself!
Life becomes stagnant for varying reasons; however, the most causes include 1) forgetting how to re-motivate oneself and 2) waiting for the next “thing.” In both cases, it’s a matter of fast-idling in a comfort zone in hopes that something better will come along. However, while you wait and hope for the best, opportunities are passing by because you are not open to having them in your life.
— Re-Motivation —
Motivation is tough. It requires an objective, a plan, and a reason. If any of these items are missing, then the reason for the pursuit of a dream disappears. We sometimes become so stuck on a way of life, or a direction, that when we encounter a loss of any type, the resulting change causes us to stall. Life, as we once knew it, is over. This, because we’ve been so focused on a given path that any sudden changes knocks us off balance. But, the end of one way of life is indeed the beginning of a new life altogether!
In such cases, we have forgotten how to motivate ourselves and decide that it’s easier to idle with imitation projects in a comfort zone to fill our voids as opposed to breaking out and chasing a dream. We work hard to stay where we are by devising busy-work to occupy our minds that then become excuses for us to remain stationary. However, re-motivation is a necessary part of life management as it allows us to adapt to changes (i.e., success, loss, and trauma at the end of a cycle or period of extremes) that can affect our lives.
— Just Waiting Around —
“Waiting around” is a situation that we all encounter from time-to-time. We just “wait”, for any number of reasons, including fear and “holding out for something better.” In the interim, our minds run amok and we stall at the top of a downward spiral.
We sometimes become so accustomed to allowing our environment to “rain down” on us that every time we try to move forward, we stop and wait for the “other shoe to drop.” This is not an uncommon feeling as many people remain so set in their situations that they fear what might occur if they move on with their lives.
In other cases, we occasionally enter into a situation that “looks good”, but we feel that something better is just around the corner. With that, we put our current plans on hold to see what happens next. However, over time, we’ve accumulated so many unfinished projects that we don’t know where to begin. Is it fear of commitment? Perhaps, fear of success? Or, perhaps once we finally make it through to the end of these plans, we don’t know what will happen next? Many times, it’s not so much that we’re waiting for something better, but we’re afraid of not having something to dream of or aim for once our current plans conclude.
— What’s next? —
In all cases, life stagnates because we allow it to do so. During change, you must find something to replace the loss imposed by trauma or success so that you can continue life’s journey, albeit, on a new path. However, the only way to re-motivate yourself and stop waiting is to have a Vision or a “dream of meaning”. Defining a Vision can make all the difference between stagnation and a fulfilling life.
Instead of waiting or worrying that there will be nothing at the “end of the rainbow”, start making plans for your next dream so that you can achieve the life you desire. Don’t just hang around in hopes that something better will come along, go out and find that something better, and take it!