New research says ninety-five per cent of men and ninety-three per cent of woman do it – so why is masturbation STILL such a taboo topic?
Human beings are funny creatures.
We’ll turn that disastrous attempt at a new intercourse position into dinner party fodder but when it comes to the most innocent, basic sexual act of all, we’re about as likely to ’fess up as the guy in the corner suffering silently from an attack of piles.
We might well be the most sexually uninhibited generation so far, but masturbation, particularly female masturbation, still has a dirty name.
Even my friends, used to me blurting out all sorts of bizarre sex statistics, aren’t comfortable with it.
‘What do you do to break the boredom of sitting behind a computer for hours on end?’ a girlfriend asked me recently, during lunch with a group of friends.
‘Drink tea mostly,’ I answered.
‘Oh – and I masturbate. It’s a little treat that breaks up the day and perks me up no end.’
There was a deathly silence.
Knives and forks paused mid-air, someone choked on a mouthful of wine.
‘Excuse me?’ my friend spluttered, redder than the beetroot on her plate.
‘I said I take masturbation breaks,’ I repeated lamely.
And even I started to feel a tad embarrassed.
So I was ridiculously pleased to find out a survey on the masturbation habits of Brits, found most of you are just like me.
The survey was done by global sex toy retailer, Lovehoney, who researched a hefty sample of 4500 people.
The found men do it more than women – no surprise there!
Sixty-five per cent of British men masturbate regularly, 30 per cent do it sometimes and only five per cent not at all.
(Are they really men under 80 who don’t do it at all?)
Fifty-eight per cent of women do it regularly, 35 per cent sometimes and seven per cent never at all.
Both sexes agreed that solo sex sessions don’t detract from sex with their partner (68 per cent of men and 55 per cent of women), contrary to the myth that says we should be ‘saving ourselves’ for ‘real sex’.
Which makes it even stranger that although everybody does it (and if they don’t, they should), few admit it and hardly anyone discusses it freely.
Masturbation remains one of the few sex subjects that can make the most liberated person blush.
Lots still view masturbation as something you do when ‘you can’t get any’, fearing that if they’re ‘reduced’ to masturbating, they’re not sexually desirable enough to score the real thing.
In reality, the more sexually active you are, the more likely you are to masturbate, regardless of whether you do or don’t have a partner.
Kinsey, the world’s best known sex expert, found people who masturbated early in life led more vigorous sex lives than those who didn’t, and continued having an active sex life long past when the average person stopped.
This is one area where men come up trumps.
Most women masturbate about once a week, often not doing it regularly until their late teens.
Most men masturbate at least twice as often, and started doing so around 12 or 13 years of age.
Of the women who have discovered its joys, virtually all can masturbate to orgasm – 95 per cent of us, in fact (and some researchers put that figure even higher).
On the opposite side, if you’re a female who has never masturbated, statistics indicate it’s quite likely you’ve never had an orgasm in your life.
Pretty strong support for solo sex!
Men and women are surprisingly similar in other masturbation habits, according to the Lovehoney survey.
Our favourite solo sex fantasy is the same – and it’s actually sex with our current partner that takes top billing.
The top five masturbation fantasies are also the same for both sexes.
Masturbating to erotica and/or porn scored second place, bondage fantasies came third with fantasies involving role-play and fantasies involving exes in fourth and fifth place.
Both sexes think about exes while pleasuring themselves.
Fifty- eight per cent of men and 48 per cent of women fantasise about a previous partner even when in a happy relationship.
Sixty nine per cent of women and 60 per cent of men said masturbating improves their mood.
Being in a relationship doesn’t stop us doing it either.
Sixty per cent of men and 51 per cent of women continue to have solo sex sessions when they are attached.
The truth is good girls do do it and if you’re a woman who never has and won’t try, give up now on ever having a fulfilling sex life.
Masturbation is a sure way (often the only way) to discover what turns you on sexually, and unless you know how to excite yourself, you’ve got zero chance of telling your partner how to.
Few of us are lucky enough to start our sexual lives with a lover who’s so patient and skilled he can teach us about our own body.
Besides, masturbating is good for you.
It releases tension, frees inhibitions, is gloriously liberating – and beats the hell out of counting sheep if you’re having trouble dropping off!
Visit Lovehoney at Lovehoney.co.uk
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